Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

When sharing a wife, is it best with your buddy or a stranger?

It’s still here.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Have you ever been forced to undress for money just once?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

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Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Why do Trumpers and MAGA Republicans care who is trans and who is gay ECT? If they didn't have a personal interest in transgenderism it shouldn't matter so much then, right?

The sadness was still there.

You are like me, then.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I had run out of hope.

How do I stop having work crushes because I only keep getting disappointed almost every day as I keep seeing they don’t like me back and won’t ever ask me out?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I was tired of trying and failing.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

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For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

And the sadness?